Relationships in Astrology
We read in the popular media how ‘Aries and Leo get along but Aries and Virgo do not’. It’s not complete nonsense, but it is borderline irresponsible to teach vulnerable lovers that their love is so doomed and indeed that Astrology is so shallow.
Synastry, the study of relationship, is a profound and rewarding study that requires objectivity and dedication.
Are we thinking of loving friendship, siblings, parents or sexual partners? Even in the last case, there’s a very wide range of ways to interact - and priorities shift from day to day and year to year and they differ from your partner’s priorities.
A healthy relationship requires both harmony and challenge. The honeymoon period doesn’t last long, and pretty soon life throws up difficulties that we have to face together. Typically this is better supported by hard aspects rather than soft; relaxing and having fun tends to be easier with softer aspects, so a good balance of both hard and soft is best.
Conjunction, Trine, Sextile
Square, Semi-square, Opposition
The closer the orb, the more intense is the interaction but no-one can say how wide they should be. As a general rule I like to keep them tight, but the choice is yours - can you actually see or feel the reality of it?
SUN MOON ASCENDANT DESCENDANT
Any relationship with mutual connection between any of these is likely to reach deeper levels than usual associations. This shows as mutual understanding, good rapport and willingness to see the other's point of view.
CATEGORY 1 ASPECTS
Sun - Sun
Sun - Moon
Sun - Ascendant
Sun - Descendant
Moon - Moon
Moon - Ascendant
Moon - Descendant
Ascendant - Descendant
Ascendant - Ascendant
Please note that these are not always harmonious; it can go either way, but typically they will be very impactful.
CATEGORY 2 ASPECTS
Any of the key connections with any of the other points and planets -
Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, North Node, South Node, Midheaven
The owner of the key connection (Sun, Moon, Asc, Desc) might find the aspect more telling than their partner.
(My Moon square your Pluto is more likely to be emotionally troubling to me than to you).
CATEGORY 3 ASPECTS
Any aspect that excludes the 4 key connections
These can be very important in specific areas of activity. For example Venus Mars connections support sexual interest.
SOME ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES
His Sun conjunct her Moon
His self-awareness and self-confidence improves and he is better able to live out his essential life story because he feels she provides him with comfort, a feeling of being at home, and a general easiness of being himself.
Her Moon conjunct his Sun
She feels that she provides him with emotional comfort, and a caring home, so he is easy to be with and is more authentic, truly confident and self-expressive in the world.
His Sun square her Mercury
Difficulty in communication because she tries to tell him things he doesn't want to hear.
His Moon trine her Venus
Beautiful and harmonious ease of being together; she feels he sees her beauty, he feels safe and cared for.
Her Ascendant conjunct his Descendant
Ideal aspect that underpins friendship; between lovers it adds an easy everyday aspect to the relationship.
Her Pluto square his Mars
Highly charged, intense and probably sexually fiery. The image of a volcano - dangerous, transforming and unsustainable. His urge to dominate is eventually thwarted.
His Venus sextile her Mercury
Delighting in the art form of communication and very capable of subtle mutual understandings.
His Moon opposition her Sun
Profound connection with mutual awareness, yet sometimes very deeply frictional at core levels of being.
Her Pluto conjunct his Descendant
Loss of identity where each finds the other overpowering, most especially him. Yet inescapable attraction.
His Moon trine her Moon
Perfect for living together and sharing everyday ordinary life. Each is sensitive to the others feelings offering care and genuine emotional support.
PLANETS AND POINTS
These have associations with certain areas of life, which are influenced by the specific aspect connections you have with a partner. Here are some pointers:
Self-awareness, self-confidence, essential life story
Comfort, feeling at home, easiness of being
Talking about things, understandings
Love, harmony, beauty, sexual play, ability to attract
Assertiveness, anger, sexual urgency, emotional projections
Expansion, spiritual path, visionary hopes, religious belief
Discipline, good order, maturity, seriousness, duty, commitment
Heightened sensitivity, hurt, healing, perceptual shifts
Spontaneity, eccentricity, freedom, excitement, rebelliousness
Idealism, fantasy, sensitivity to atmospheres, lack of realism
Intensity, power, charisma, magnetism, major life changes
Everyday personality, image to the world, casual interactions
Relationship with one other, the special partnership
Soul evolution, perceived life goal on deepest level
Career, reputation, role in society