7 Words Study: Yes
You Embrace Situations
The Beacon that Shows Us the Way
Yes is the Suspension of a Strong No
Degrees of Yesness
Fluidity of Persoanality
Embrace the Unexpected
The Religious Instinct
Keywords for Yes
As a birthright, it is rather to be assumed that an individual has a certain authority to forbid. The rights given and protected both by law and common practice have to do with not being violated, and not being denied access to what is needed for survival. If there exists the authority to forbid and it is relaxed, there is permission. Permission suggests allowing. Someone, perhaps in authority or exercising the individual’s birthright, suspends the right to refuse and is willing to allow the request of another. In response to the application of a person who wants something from us, the process by which we come to relax our attitude from No to Yes can be called negotiation.
Often what we are asked to accept will go against what we have come to believe in or expect. Of course, otherwise there’s nothing to accept, because we agree. Our suspicion of change and the inertia of our love of the familiar are often very strong. Acceptance suggests the need to be more open than we were before in order that our awareness of possibilities is expanded. Without such openness we are constrained within what is available and we would therefore be limiting not only the scope but also the likelihood of our vision-fulfilment. Surely it is clear that in order to change our circumstances we have to change ourselves? This inevitably requires us to accept new factors into the equation of lives.
Agreement is harmonious alignment. I want what you want, we both want the same. An exchange that takes place under these conditions is rather special. Each party is inclined towards saying Yes, they seek opportunities to agree, they actively promote harmony out of an inner sense of being harmonious. An obvious example would be two innocent lovers, rapt and in the wonder of love, each trying to meet every need and desire of the other. A less fanciful version might be the constant mutual cooperation of two or more people who are working towards a shared goal using methods that are clear and settled.
Beyond other levels of Yesness, there is a level of acceptance that has a spiritual quality that we can call surrender. What is surrendered is the sense of self-importance, in the realization of the Unity that is all-embracing and all-pervading. If all comes from God, if all is God, then why resist or refuse anything? Yes is a response indicating the giving up of personal resistances. It is responsive in its nature and therefore feminine; its mystery may be beyond the understanding of the more masculine thrusting types that tend to dominate most fields of human activity.
Control, fear of future, stress, disappointment, inability to adapt, slow to align with changing times, left out, constant tension, anxiety, attached to outcomes.
These people are tight, and bring unnecessary tension that limits both the scope of life and the happiness available to them and those around them. Often in positions of petty authority, they clamp down on the flow of things and, by making sure nothing goes wrong, they make sure that nothing is ever really right either.
An extremely liberal upbringing has its own problems and will be likely to give rise to an attitude in adulthood that will be fraught with difficulty. Such a person may well be unable to discriminate easily between right and wrong, have no ethical code, no respect for a sense of moderation and will be at risk of leading a dissolute life, debauched and self-indulgent, given to abuse through misuse of alcohol, drugs and every kind of gratification. Sexual standards are more likely to be extremely permissive beyond the point of socially accepted norms.
It’s all too easy for a child to get a habit for such pleasures before they develop self-control and awareness of the need for taking responsibility for oneself.
In fact, by having the practice and expectation of always being told Yes, a person can tend towards parasitical lifestyle and never find a better way to be, because no friction has been given, and no will-to-overcome has therefore developed. It would be hard to learn how to earn one's own living when nothing had ever been denied previously.
It is shameful that an ordinary person, who may be kind, caring, responsible and gentle-minded, should be exposed to abuse and violence for no reason than their ethnicity, religion, sexuality or choice of clothes. It shames humanity. The answer lies in more tolerance since persecution is based on fear of the unknown and narrow-mindedness towards minor differences.
To deal with the underlying issue properly requires acceptance for minority groups. There is often a tension that arises when one group defines itself as different from another by its choices of practices and beliefs. To reduce this requires us to look for points of agreement, to actively seek harmony and expect peaceful sharing.