Experiencing the Authentic Self

NO The meaning of life is to experience yourself. It is that simple. That doesn’t make it easy however, because there are forces that pull us and push us away from the true centre of who we are, and these pressures are powerful, non-stop and immediate from the moment we take our first breath – and actually before even that! It is a huge task and a great achievement to find a place within ourselves that is authentic, reliable and incorruptible. When we have this, then we have a strong foundation upon which to build a meaningful life.

Shaping and Being Shaped

HELLO  Our life circumstances both mirror and contribute to the development of character. We express ourselves into the world, and this shapes the world, yet equally we are impressed upon by the world, and this shapes us. These interactions are perpetual and on-going as we let curiosity lead our attention, and our attention lead our involvements. Whatever gets our attention will surely have influence upon our character as it is shaped – although never outside of the range of possibility that is the horizon of our potential. Certainly potential is unlimited, yet it expands and moves in an orderly fashion, as does the horizon at sea.

Love is the Feeling of Deep Belonging

THANKS ​We find that some of our interactions have a deeper quality than others. Firstly, the power of empathy generates in us such a feeling of belonging that we are awakened into a sense of something bigger. Intimate loving relationship tends towards family feelings, which tend toward clan-, tribe-, nation-, race- and even species-rapport. Thus we are able to reconnect with the depths of feeling that are associated with the heart.

Establishing Firm Principles

GOODBYE Yet we are not defined uniquely by such a process, in fact we have to give away aspects of our uniqueness in order to belong. So, opposed to empathy, a second force is triggered inside us when the unique self feels its individuality at risk. This force refutes. The fiery, challenging, heroic aspect of our unique individuality decides to stand on principle. I AM ME! The seduction of comfort and the security of belonging are overpowered by the freedom-urge of spirit – and then individually we desire to travel onwards alone.

Vision and Sacredness

PLEASE  Away from the twin forces of seductive familiarity, and the glamour of the rebel, a more powerful sense of true self can emerge. This is felt in sacredness; this is the purpose of sacredness – to become aware of the bigger picture. We reach up to find the most glorious vision we can imagine where who we are, and who we are with, co-create a splendid reality that is rich in colour, opportunity and joy – free from the need either to conform to family values or to reject them.

Learning From Another's Persepctive

SORRY During this visionary process, the push of our personality is met by the push back of another’s. This is required if we are to learn to see our circumstances and our human potential from other perspectives. Through this refining stage, we come to know something of the deepest mystery that exists in all the worlds. It cannot really be explained in words. It has such a truth that can only be experienced when intuitively we trust the physical body to recognise and take on the actual state of being that reflects what the enlightened mind has merely understood.

Surrendering to the Flow of Life

​YES Resistance, ambition, self-proclamation, and morality are all then perceived as follies. Of course they have real worth as devices that show of our imperfection of understanding, and give us a palette for our artistry as we create our lives – yet the real mystery is not found there, it is found when we sink into it. We let all that comes and goes fascinate us for a moment then, perhaps with a smile as enigmatic as the Mona Lisa’s, we can let it all pass us by.

The Liars

Even as a child I was aware that all was not well in this world; I lived with a constant but unspecific feeling of unease. People told lies. My parents did not practise what they preached, my schoolteachers avoided or fudged when my questions were awkward, and on TV the smiles of news presenters and advertisers were white-teeth caricatures that made me cringe.

The Bullies

And then there were the bullies. Not just the intimidation at school, which was far more frightening when it took the form of a teacher’s cold, institutional violence of sarcasm and angry glances, but also the threats at Sunday School from the Christians who insisted that God was a vindictive and vengeful spy who critically examined every one of my thoughts in every moment of my sinful life.

Living in Truth

I saw though their lies – and I said so. This refusal to go along with the all-pervading corruption was my first true act of spiritual awakening. I rejected all that I felt was false and refused to compromise my principles. Even though I had no idea what other principles I actually had, I knew that first and foremost I need to live constantly in truth.

The System Needs Liars and Bullies

I did not fit in anywhere. As I attempted to make my way in the world it became obvious that to tell lies competently and frequently was a requirement of the System. Otherwise most of us were consigned to become wave-slaves in our factories and offices, having no expectation beyond a life of reluctant servitude and no advancement.

A Journey of Discovery

Intuitively, it seemed that there must be a better way and that one who sought them would find answers. So, my life became a journey of discovery. I gave up habits and comforts to travel, often to scary places, I read philosophy and studied the great books, I filled my world with other seekers, attending uncounted workshops, seminars and retreats. Perhaps I was a slow learner because it took me a very long time!

The Opening Heart

Unconsciously I had assumed that it was the mind that would open and that that would bring true understanding. This indeed was a necessary process, but not sufficient. What actually brought me into deeper into my authentic self was the opening of the heart. Unknowingly I’d become cynical and had no sense of softness or warmth as a heart-centred feeling. I could behave as though I loved but in reality, this behaviour was a decision or habit and not a real feeling. What opened my awareness of the joy and importance of such vulnerability was compassion for another, and also the beauty in music and Nature.

Confrontation and Conflict as Spiritual Principles

This did not make me weak; it made me feel strong. I found myself able and ready to confront bullies and liars. Few, if any, would listen to my complaints and so I was obliged to remove myself totally from my old life, its people and comforts. My solitude deepened my strength and brought me ever closer to the realisation of who I am and what is my purpose.

Sacred Repect

As soon as I became clear about my life purpose there was energy and motivation. It was also noticeable that my vision had its own magnetism and somehow magically drew together those of us whose purposes aligned. Collaboration and the resultant synergy created a constant atmosphere of meaning, directness and achievement and brought me into a much higher level of respect for others.

The 7 Words

Faith and Optimism

I don’t think the journey ever ends, and I’m pretty sure that these 7 life wisdoms are things we never completely master. The last bit – to let go and trust that all will be well – is the operation of faith. The final secret that I have learned is that faith is a choice not a gift and I have come to believe that optimism is a sacred duty.

Falling in Love

Every dynamic process can be studied using the 7 Words System and we gain a better understanding of the process when we do this. Let’s look at ‘falling in love’ through this linguistic prism. We begin with the word No. ​ ​Some types of people are not suitable for us, and we all have a sense of how to exclude them by category. Marital status, gender, age, spoken language and height are immediately obvious as the first things that keep people out of our ‘scope of possibilities’. We say No to such people without any need to find out much more about them.

Exercising Caution

We may also automatically keep clear of those who differ significantly in matters of economic status, religions, musical taste, which drugs are taken, philosophical standpoints, level of intelligence, attitude to children, body weight, race, place of residence and others. ​ Even if somebody is theoretically possible nonetheless we do not open up immediately, we are cautious at first even to engage in overmuch conversation.

Chatting Up

The second stage is called ‘Hello’. This is where we exchange words with the person and it stays on the mental level. There will be opinions, information, humour and trivial banter used as an accepted ritual. Each person can withdraw without offending the other; no explanations are required because no commitment has been made or implied. There may be casual friendship and shared activity that could last for minutes or months before the next stage is awakened.

The Heart is Awakened

'Thanks’ touches the heart. In time, social interest evolves into fondness – or some other expression of appreciation that involves feeling. We come to realise that we have developed a preference for one special person. They are no longer only an acceptable example of a type – we have feelings for this particular one. It may be noticeable that our gifts to them are no longer part of the normal ritual like flowers or cards but given with real feeling and of a more personally appropriate type.

First Kiss, First Night

In the 7 Words System, 'Goodbye' moments are not by any means the ending of things; they are game-changing events. These include the first kiss, first night, meeting their parents – and other irreversible moments that let you know, and announce, that things are getting more serious.

Sharing and Caring

‘Please’ is the energy of cooperation, collaboration and synergy. When a couple of people take on a joint project then they really have become a couple. This can be a shared adventure, sharing accommodation, having a baby or running a business together. The project binds them together more deeply and serves to help them overcome personality-issues and also keeps alive the interest and spark of excitement.

Sorry is the Hardest Word

The word ‘Sorry’ is said usually to soften the damage done by our insensitivity. If we care about a person then we will want to make amends if we do harm or hurt their feelings. It can be very difficult to swallow pride and admit errors – yet this one word is possibly the most important in the context of loving relationship. Being in close proximity to someone is certain to trigger difficult feelings from time to time. Saying Sorry helps make things right.

Saying Yes to Eachother

One little tip to make it all go well – if you have to say No, then say it clearly and let it be strongly reinforced by consistent behaviour. Yet otherwise, if you can say Yes, then say it. The word 'Yes' is what makes us all feel good. It shows permission, acceptance, agreement and surrender. When two people say Yes to each other frequently then life becomes very special.

In Summary