Dealing with Teenage Depression in 7 WordsNoThere’s massive pressure to conform to standards that others want to lay down for us. Much of the pressure is self-inflicted yet of course it mainly comes from parents and teachers, and there’s a lot of peer-group opinion about what is and what is not cool. Yet we have a greater spiritual responsibility to ourselves than to them or anyone else. We have an over-riding right, and indeed responsibility, to be exactly who we are. This goes against so much of the teachings we receive – whether from family or social and religious forces. From the highest spiritual viewpoint, we must become what we were born to be, and that necessarily means refusing to be mindlessly obedient despite our own inner frustrations and sense of wrongness. We must not just follow another’s path; in a word, if it feels wrong it is wrong. Don’t do it, say No and stick to that decision firmly. Hello
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YesThose who trust in life say Yes – more often, more enthusiastically and more readily. Yes not only affirms faith it also builds faith. Faith in what? That the future is better than the past. How soon? As soon as we stoke up the courage to affirm faith. Faith is a decision not a gift from the gods. Just try it out for a month: have faith, say No strongly, say Yes frequently, and notice that the good things tend to increase more and more.
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The Journey to Depression by Carinne AllisonNoThe roots of most depression lie in No. Depression is sometimes seen as repressed anger, which belongs with No. The violation of an individual’s boundaries in childhood is abuse. This can be physical, mental, emotion, psychological or sexual. Such abuse leaves us with unclear or non-existent boundaries and sets up patterns of abuse, self-abuse, co-dependency, addiction, manipulation or other dysfunctional behaviours in adulthood. It also leaves us with a confused sense of identity. We don’t know who we are and we spend a lot of time trying to be whatever other people expect of us – or we believe the lies we were told and take on the identity forced upon us by our abusers. Instead of unfolding as a result of free, proactive choices that reflect who we are, our lives become a series of reactions to situations over which we seem to have no control, or which have been forced upon us by others. One day we wake up and realise we do not know who we are or what we want. Our life is out of our control – we have given (or they have taken) our power away to our lovers/bosses/children/parents/friends. We are living a lie. Is it any wonder we feel angry? However, we may not be aware of our anger, because we were told we don’t deserve any better, so we don’t feel we have a right to feel angry. Or we may have long ago lost any connection to our emotions. This unrecognised anger leads to depression – as does the sense of helplessness that arises from years of abuse/self-abuse, loss of control, manipulation. Hello
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YesNow we reach the ‘tipping point’ – but we have to make a choice. Some people choose denial – ‘I’m not depressed, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a bit stressed at work, that’s all; I just need a drink to wind down when I get home, nothing wrong with that’. That’s okay, because it’s possible to change our minds at any point – that is to say, when we’re ready. At that point, we can say, “Yes”. The keywords for Yes are Permission, Acceptance, Agreement and Surrender, and as soon as we are ready, they all come into play. When we stop fighting our depression, we give ourselves permission – to feel awful, to feel useless, to have no appetite or energy, to be tired and weepy, to want to avoid people – in other words, to be depressed. As soon as we give ourselves permission, we accept our depression and stop fighting it. We can now begin to deal with it and the process of recovery can begin.
Depression: The Journey to Recovery by Carinne AllinsonYesWhen we give ourselves permission and accept our depression, it is like we sign a peace treaty with it. We can let go for a while and just go with the flow. Yes, we will need to deal with it – but not yet. For now we just surrender. This process may take a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, but for however long it takes, we need to just sleep, cry, stay in bed, stare at the wall – whatever we need to do. We will know when the time comes to move on. Sorry
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Thank YouHelloNoNow we have found a sense of who we really are and we no longer put up with abuse or manipulation. Our boundaries are stronger and we can say “No” to our abusers – and others who ask too much of us. We take back our power, control over our own lives. We make our choices freely, respecting who we are, and we live our truth. But we have also learnt along the way where we are vulnerable, what work still needs to be done, what our stumbling blocks are. My prime stressors are tiredness, stress and financial instability, so I protect these. I consider my energy and stress levels before agreeing to do extra hours at work, and I monitor my finances carefully to avoid the situations that trigger depression. And I use art to push myself to foster acceptance, play, courage to fail, letting go of judgement – it terrifies me, but it works.
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7 Words BlogWe examine various topics by looking at them through the lens of the 7 Words System Archives
October 2019
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