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An Agreement for Living, in 7 Words

28/10/2019

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An Agreement for Living

        by Margaret McCallum     
       www.margaretmccallum.com
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NO 
I commit to live in clarity and integrity
and seek nothing less than truth.
HELLO
I commit to live in openness with deep listening,
and seek nothing less than communion.
THANKS
I commit to live in gratitude and open-heartedness,
and seek nothing less than love.
GOODBYE
I commit to live in courage and willingness,
and seek nothing less than my soul’s path.
PLEASE
I commit to live in cooperation and shared vision,
and seek nothing less than alignment with Spirit.
SORRY
I commit to live in awareness and responsibility,
and seek nothing less than peace.
YES
I commit to live in acceptance and surrender,
and seek nothing less than freedom.                                                                  
                                                                                     
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October 22nd, 2019

22/10/2019

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Wordbending

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Is it our purpose, when communicating, to deceive — or is it to develop a true and deeper understanding? Although it is thought and affirmed that it is normal social behaviour to convey good and useful information, that to lie is immoral and in certain circumstances criminal, nevertheless our use of language gives plenty of evidence of a stronger impulse — to cover the facts with words that do not tell it as it is. So what of this phenomenon — which we’ll call ‘wordbending’?  In some cases there is artistic merit or symbolic significance in the employment of a word or phrase that does not literally point to its true meaning and this makes a valuable contribution to the beauty of a language.

Cats and dogs falling from the sky

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As an example: ‘raining cats and dogs’ has no intention to deceive; the metaphor is rather colourful and innocent.  There is also the idea of ‘variety use’ that suggests it is entirely normal for people to employ words with ‘artful ambiguity’ in order to promote a softer exchange of information, where non-verbal communication is of greater consequence and both parties are aware of the subtle uncertainty they are leaving in the air. Courtship is full of this. (So is sabre rattling).

Ethnic Cleansing

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Yet there are other seemingly gentle discrepancies that bend the truth and cause some confusion because they lack clarity, accuracy or sensitivity to the listener. ‘Back in 5 minutes’ usually indicates a much longer period of time — and a person is actually quite unable to decipher the message reliably. The phrase ‘ethnic cleansing’ is repellent, partly because it refers to a shameful and terrible crime, and partly because it has been contrived to suggest to the unconscious mind a meaning entirely opposite to its true meaning; it is not cleansing at all, it is genocide and stains humanity profoundly. ‘Spin doctoring’ is another phrase that rankles. Doctors are good people who are under oath to serve their patients’ needs, whilst ‘spin doctors’ are often today seen by the public, not entirely unfairly, as professional deceivers — whose primary purpose is to cover the facts, and dress them with a rosy tint.

Thoughts are formed around language

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It is assumed that the way we think and the language we use are interdependent, because the processes of mind require language in order to formulate ideas. So concepts unfold as a language unfolds. A feeling can be felt as a feeling and yet, to understand it, we need thought. A sensation can be perceived as a physical stimulus, yet to codify it, we need thought — and thoughts have to be formed around language. It’s beyond the scope of this article to enter the debate about the way mind actually handles language.

Wittgenstein & Chomsky

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Those interested will no doubt become familiar with the various works of linguistic giants like Ludwig Wittgenstein (who developed ideas about the relationship of thoughts expressed in language to the actual state of affairs in the world), Noam Chomsky (the ‘Newton’ of modern Linguistics), and their colleagues. For example, Piaget in his study of the stages of a child’s learning discovered that the earliest function of speech is more to do with symbolization — an inner experience — than with the outer expression of communication. 

Bertrand Russel

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Bertrand Russell is quoted as saying ‘Language serves not only to express thought but to make possible thoughts that could not exist without it’. Sapir (echoing Wittgenstein’s ‘the limits of my language mean the limits of my world’ claimed that the world is perhaps even created by language and stated: ‘…the real world is to a large extent unconsciously built up on the language habits of the group. No two languages are sufficiently similar to be considered as representing the same social reality. The worlds in which different societies live are distinct worlds, not merely the same worlds with different labels attached.’ With his most promising student he came up with the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis of Linguistic Determinism: Language determines the way we think.

Corrupted Thinking

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From this it can be reasonably suggested that if language is corrupted then thinking cannot be otherwise. If there is no clarity in our language then we can’t speak clearly. We are thereby somewhat deprived of the main tool by which we develop ideas and formulate our thoughts — in the exchange of views and opinions during conversations. It’s true that this lack of clarity can be overcome by vigorous disciplines of mind, such as is necessary in professional education for example, and yet for most people such corrective mental exercises are not undertaken. So how can any reality other than an uncertain one be built upon such uncertainty?  ​

No Means Probably Not

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Most people would probably — for all practical purposes — have No to mean ‘probably not’, because that’s what it meant in real terms when they learned it from Mum and Dad. If Mum said ‘No’, although from her tone and actions we can see that what she meant was ‘perhaps I will if you continue to badger me’, then for us that’s what No means. If Dad said ‘Sorry’ with clear indications that gave out something more like: ‘I suppose I have to apologize for the sake of form, but really I feel no remorse for what I did’, then for us that’s what Sorry means. Despite dictionary definitions, these corrupted meanings are the deepest impressions we have to build on, and they form the basis of what we think, say and do. More than this, we also came to learn that ‘people don’t say what they mean’ and ‘to be normal like Mum and Dad, I have to bend my words too’.

Thought is Creative; Words Matter

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Thought is creative…Words have real importance. Words matter. The mind and body respond to what they hear the voice saying, so we can talk ourselves into illness or good health, poverty or wealth, misery or happiness according to the specific words that we allow to grace our speech. It is tempting to complain to your husband ‘You never take me out!’ or to your child ‘You little nuisance!’ or to yourself ‘I am stupid!’ and yet it would be wiser to refrain from negative messages of this type. Such curses as these can and do actually, though very subtly, influence life circumstances to lead to the fulfilment of the complaint. We shall all eventually reap what we have sown.        ​

False Speech Leads to Confusion

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The words we speak change the atmosphere around us. Even our thoughts do that. People respond to that atmosphere even more than they respond to the actual words – so the life that we experience has a lot to do with what we think and what we say. If, even in jest or good humour, we say what we do not truly think, then we give off a confused and confusing atmosphere, which if continued generally, creates a life of confusion. We don’t want it. We need to care more about the importance of the words we use, and train ourselves to speak true and clear. This is what makes for a true and clear life. This is what we do want. False speech leads to confusion in one’s thoughts, to self-deception and to ambiguous life circumstances that are stressful.

Clearer Words, Peaceful Society

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It is both physically and psychologically healthy for us to speak clearly and truly. The misuse of words can easily cause misunderstandings between people, which very often lead to tension and perhaps eventually conflict. It is the normal thing to feel insecure when confused or deceived and left in ignorance; this insecurity is a danger that threatens peace. It is often profoundly dangerous. To move towards a more peaceful society, we need to become clearer and more straightforward in our speech and thoughts.

Mavis the Wordbender ​

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Mavis goes into her butcher with a piece of meat she bought yesterday, slaps it on the counter with a huff and a puff says ‘I wouldn’t feed that to my dog!’ What does she mean? We can find 7 different interpretations…which one do you think is really what she meant?
​
No
“This dog meat isn’t suitable”
Hello
 “I am offering information about my dog’s culinary preferences”
Thanks 
“You’re the kind of friendly fellow that can take a joke”
Goodbye
“… and you can forget my future custom!”
Please
“I want this exchanged for a piece of better quality suitable for my husband and me”
Sorry
“You are a scoundrel! I blame you”
Yes
“It’s too good for my dog, I’ll eat it myself”
If you chose Please then probably you are right, and you get special bonus points for mind reading; if Sorry — it seems that you already understand the dysfunctional expressions of the 7 Words.  
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7 Life Principles

22/10/2019

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7 Life Principles

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No: Be on top of things and increasingly ecological

Hello: Be in active participation in communal life as a way to expand experience and understanding 

Thanks: Be kind and gentle unless provoked

Goodbye: Be never stuck, ever more dynamic until the end 

Please: Act assertively to align personal and communal hopes

Sorry: Be considerate finding fair balance between self and others 
​
Yes: Enthusiastically accept everything that need not be refused 
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Living with Increasing Easefulness and Simplicity

19/10/2019

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Living with Increasing Easefulness and Simplicity

by Margaret McCallum
www.margaretmccallum.com
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Try spending some quiet time with each of these questions:
 
No: What is it about easefulness and simplicity that appeals to me and that I choose to identify with?
​
​Hello: What do I currently have in my life that works against this way of being?

Thanks: What do I appreciate and value in my life that works well for me towards easefulness and simplicity?

Goodbye: What do I realise out of these questions, and what decision do I now make as a result?

Please: What is my vision for a life of increasing easefulness and simplicity; how do I intend to bring it into being, and who/what shall I ask to help?

Sorry: How might my choices affect other people (adversely) and what will I do to mitigate this?

Yes: Am I prepared to surrender to the possibility that life may take unexpected turns as a result of this process?
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Root Cause of Climate Change in 7 Words

29/9/2019

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Root Cause of Climate Change in 7 Words

Impatient people please skip to Yes paragraph!

No

THE CAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE IN 7 WORDS
When we say the phrase ‘Climate Change’ we are employing a neutral combination of words without saying explicitly what many of us really mean. There is nothing surprising about the fact that the climate is changing; it always has and always will. But surely, we are concerned that life as we know it is in danger of ending, or indeed has ended already. For some people and millions of creatures this is a cold hard fact. Yet, in an attempt to be inoffensive and politically correct we are disguising the truth. Unless we identify the actual truth of our current situation then how can we expect to address the root cause? As any gardener knows, without rooting out the deepest problem a recurrence is inevitable – so even if we do manage to survive the current crisis, and stave off our existential emergency, something else, equally dire, will certainly emerge.

Hello

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There are many suggestions about what might be the root cause of Climate Change. These include such things as overpopulation, excessive meat-eating, industrialisation or use of fossil fuels. Perhaps it is better to ask what underpins all of these, and all of the other possible causes of our predicament? ​

Thanks

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I suggest that the root cause is that our species has lost its depth of connection to its spiritual heritage. I am not talking about religion at all; many non-religious people are highly spiritual beings, and lots of religious types are certainly not. I am discussing sacredness. Even if you are a mafia gangster, a politician or heroin addict, you have some sense of awareness that certain things are taboo, absolutely taboo. This points to the existence within each of one of us of something pure, incorruptible and good. Often ‘doing the right thing’ boils down to two essential aspects of conscience: truth and love. The trouble is that, despite knowing what is the right thing, we all tend to ignore that in favour of what is comfortable or expedient.

Goodbye

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It’s true that some people are more likely to act responsibly, to bite the bullet and suffer personal inconvenience for the sake of adhering to a spiritual principle, but not many. And even those who are examples of good conscience mostly give way to expediency when push comes to shove. It’s very difficult to tell the truth in this world of lies – you make enemies rather quickly! – also it’s really hard to be kind when you are being treated badly. Yet when in difficulty, even taken to the extreme case, there is always one thing that works, and few people have it: Faith. ​

Please

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Again I need to define what I mean. I don’t mean faith in God or anything unproven; I mean having the self-confidence to know that you can cope with whatever comes up and that it will be alright in the end – in fact having such profound optimism to trust that bad fortune is good fortune in disguise. Optimism is a spiritual principle, possibly even more descriptive of Spirit than either love or truth. When optimism is applied within an atmosphere of sacredness the outcome is always the best possible result. Yet can we prove that this statement is true? It is not necessary to do so, because those who have faith know it to be true and, whatever proofs are offered, those without will always doubt it.

Sorry

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So what is sacredness? How can we achieve and maintain that precious state? Despite their dogmatic idealism and belief that their words are the real and only wisdom and truth, all religions include an aspect of real gold. If we could but take the good bits and discard the rest, we might come up with something that encapsulates ‘what is sacredness’ into teaching words that we can use to live by. And in fact, this is already available. This universal teaching appears in one form or another in pretty much every spiritual path. It is called the Golden Rule, which in simple terms is Consideration: do as you’d be done by. If you wouldn’t like it yourself then don’t do it to another.

Yes

​If the bottom-line defining principle accepted by everyone was Consideration, then all would be well. We would care for each other, we would listen to each other, we would not be hurtful, we would not take more than our fair share, and in every single moment we would think about the implications of what we are doing and saying. If today everyone began to practise consideration as an expression of their sense of sacredness then very quickly we would regain our balance as a species and find that joy replaced fear as the world’s underlying feeling.
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Teenage Depression

16/8/2019

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Dealing with Teenage Depression in 7 Words

No

There’s massive pressure to conform to standards that others want to lay down for us. Much of the pressure is self-inflicted yet of course it mainly comes from parents and teachers, and there’s a lot of peer-group opinion about what is and what is not cool. Yet we have a greater spiritual responsibility to ourselves than to them or anyone else. We have an over-riding right, and indeed responsibility, to be exactly who we are. This goes against so much of the teachings we receive – whether from family or social and religious forces. From the highest spiritual viewpoint, we must become what we were born to be, and that necessarily means refusing to be mindlessly obedient despite our own inner frustrations and sense of wrongness. We must not just follow another’s path; in a word, if it feels wrong it is wrong. Don’t do it, say No and stick to that decision firmly.

Hello

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From the earliest years, we are introduced to a particular set of life conditions through family, schoolfriends and neighbours – and yet these are their preferences and not necessarily our own. To find what suits us best we need to look around. We need to study new ideas, meet new people, travel, take up new hobbies and break out of the mould of what we find comfortable and familiar. The circumstances of our life are made up from whatever we hold in the mind – so to expand our life we must expand the mind, by letting it deal with fresh inputs.

Thanks

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To have been forced to conform and to be limited in our horizons creates the increased likelihood of pessimism and even cynicism. When we expect to be disappointed then we attract disappointment and a self-fulfilling vicious cycle is perpetuated indefinitely. We must break away from these diseases of the mind at whatever cost – no price is too high because they lead to ‘death in life’. Optimism defeats pessimism, and the antidote for cynicism is appreciation. We must affirm life, find the silver lining with each cloud, look for the light at the end of the tunnel and find joy in the little things – or, if not joy, then at least good-natured humour. Build on this every day; bit by bit it will take less effort and eventually become more like our natural disposition than a discipline of mind.

Goodbye

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Certain people and certain situations are simply wrong for us. We must recognise them for what they are – toxins that poison the mind and keep it from affirming optimism. Saying Goodbye to such things needs to be done courageously, clearly and resolutely. They are dangerous – run away! Then we remember to trust that life cannot, and does not, exist in a vacuum; so, when we free ourselves of what went before, we cannot fail but to attract something new. In fact, as long as we have faith, we must necessarily attract something more in alignment with our best vision for ourselves.

Please

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It is important to know what we choose to have in life; to do make this choice specifically and in detail is very helpful in drawing it to us. If we look for something specific with a sense of expectancy then it is much likelier to occur because the mind is a magnet and whatever the mind focuses on is attracted. Hence the supreme importance of concentrating only on positive ideas – think about what we want not what we dislike or fear. Say what you prefer to have happen rather than moan about difficulties or give voice to anxieties and reasons to fail. Explain, don’t complain! This not only makes it possible to attract helpful input from others but also focuses the mind properly.

Sorry

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It is important to acknowledge our mistakes, and take responsibility for them. By doing so we release our tendency to draw unhelpful energies to act against us and create blocks. Avoid upsetting people if you can, not only at a matter of courtesy but also as a way to unblock the way forward. And if someone does get upset with us then we need to apologise. This is not an admission of guilt or even error – it is simply a statement that perhaps we could have been more sensitive.

Yes

Those who trust in life say Yes – more often, more enthusiastically and more readily. Yes not only affirms faith it also builds faith. Faith in what? That the future is better than the past. How soon? As soon as we stoke up the courage to affirm faith. Faith is a decision not a gift from the gods. Just try it out for a month: have faith, say No strongly, say Yes frequently, and notice that the good things tend to increase more and more.
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The Journey to Depression

14/8/2019

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The Journey to Depression by Carinne Allison

No

The roots of most depression lie in No. Depression is sometimes seen as repressed anger, which belongs with No. The violation of an individual’s boundaries in childhood is abuse. This can be physical, mental, emotion, psychological or sexual. Such abuse leaves us with unclear or non-existent boundaries and sets up patterns of abuse, self-abuse, co-dependency, addiction, manipulation or other dysfunctional behaviours in adulthood.

It also leaves us with a confused sense of identity. We don’t know who we are and we spend a lot of time trying to be whatever other people expect of us – or we believe the lies we were told and take on the identity forced upon us by our abusers. Instead of unfolding as a result of free, proactive choices that reflect who we are, our lives become a series of reactions to situations over which we seem to have no control, or which have been forced upon us by others.
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One day we wake up and realise we do not know who we are or what we want. Our life is out of our control – we have given (or they have taken) our power away to our lovers/bosses/children/parents/friends. We are living a lie. Is it any wonder we feel angry? However, we may not be aware of our anger, because we were told we don’t deserve any better, so we don’t feel we have a right to feel angry. Or we may have long ago lost any connection to our emotions. This unrecognised anger leads to depression – as does the sense of helplessness that arises from years of abuse/self-abuse, loss of control, manipulation.

Hello

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In depression we become self-absorbed – the pain of depression demands our attention. Depression leads us to isolate ourselves, partly to protect ourselves and partly to protect others. We have lost faith in agencies outside ourselves (even God) – after all, they’ve been controlling us all our lives and look what a mess we’re in. And we cannot trust ourselves – a lifetime of bad boundaries, shifting identity and poor choices speaks for itself. We’ve learned to mistrust others – they’ve abused and manipulated us for too long, and the social skills we learned from them are flawed. We don’t know how to have a ‘normal’ relationship – and who in their right mind would want anything to do with such a flawed, miserable [insert adjective of your choice] individual as me? For me, Hello is about risk, and the other side of that coin is fear.  In depression, we are paralysed by fear. 

Thank You

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Dysfunctional Thank You is about low self-esteem and depression throws that into stark relief. Far from being appreciated and valued as children, we are more likely to have been humiliated, or simply ignored. We may be attracted to charming, charismatic people who abuse us. Their self-assurance and charm is probably maintained at our expense (in public), but the abuse goes on behind closed doors. We may appear charmless and worthless by comparison, outside the house. Our sense of self-esteem, like our sense of identity, is controlled by other people. We lose the ability to affirm ourselves and in extreme cases, humiliation at the hands of our abusers leads us to develop ‘toxic shame’.

Goodbye

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In depression, the weight of everything that has happened in the past can become unbearable – we feel like the ghost of Jacob Marley, dragging behind us great heavy chains forged throughout our lifetime. The sense of grief can be overwhelming, with bouts of uncontrollable crying that last for hours. The normal process of Goodbye is completely beyond us as we are overwhelmed by all the hurt, manipulation, abuse, confusion.

Please

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Why don’t we just ask for help? By this point we are not capable of doing so – we have long since given away our power, we have isolated ourselves, lost trust, and our self-esteem is so low that we don’t feel we deserve it. We are totally overwhelmed by grief and paralysed by fear. Besides, we wouldn’t know how to ask for what we wanted, even if we knew what it was! At this point, hopelessness sets in. We don’t deserve anything good, we’re worthless – so what’s the point of having a vision? What’s the point of prayer when we’ve lost faith in anything? Thoughts of suicide might creep in – if there’s no hope, why carry on?

Sorry

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The two sides of this coin, for me, are responsibility and blame. It is likely that poor boundaries have led to much confusion in this area. We have probably been blamed for many things that were not our fault – one of the characteristics of abuse is that abusers blame the victims. We may, therefore, be accustomed to taking responsibility for other people’s ‘stuff’, while lacking the ability to take responsibility for our own ‘stuff’.
This can also lead to carrying a huge weight of guilt, if we are constantly told it’s all our fault. We may also get stuck in blaming someone else – after all, if it wasn’t for the abuse, we wouldn’t now be depressed, so we blame the abuser. Another dysfunctional aspect of Sorry is judgement – and if we’ve been judged harshly in the past, we will judge ourselves harshly now.

​This is not helped by people who have never been depressed, asking us questions like, “What have you got to be depressed about?” or “Why not focus on all the good things in your life?” and other unhelpful remarks. Such remarks imply that we could get rid of the depression if we tried hard enough. Our own self-criticism tells us that we are not as good as other people, we are flawed, inferior, defective, weak. 

Yes

Now we reach the ‘tipping point’ – but we have to make a choice. Some people choose denial – ‘I’m not depressed, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a bit stressed at work, that’s all; I just need a drink to wind down when I get home, nothing wrong with that’. That’s okay, because it’s possible to change our minds at any point – that is to say, when we’re ready. At that point, we can say, “Yes”. The keywords for Yes are Permission, Acceptance, Agreement and Surrender, and as soon as we are ready, they all come into play. When we stop fighting our depression, we give ourselves permission – to feel awful, to feel useless, to have no appetite or energy, to be tired and weepy, to want to avoid people – in other words, to be depressed. As soon as we give ourselves permission, we accept our depression and stop fighting it. We can now begin to deal with it and the process of recovery can begin.
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Depression: The Journey to Recovery

14/8/2019

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Depression: The Journey to Recovery by Carinne Allinson

Yes

When we give ourselves permission and accept our depression, it is like we sign a peace treaty with it. We can let go for a while and just go with the flow. Yes, we will need to deal with it – but not yet. For now we just surrender. This process may take a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, but for however long it takes, we need to just sleep, cry, stay in bed, stare at the wall – whatever we need to do. We will know when the time comes to move on. 

Sorry

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Having given ourselves permission and accepted our depression, we no longer need to judge ourselves. Depression is an illness, like any other – we don’t judge people for having asthma or diabetes, so why should depression be any different? Our attitude to blame changes, too. It may still be someone else’s fault we’re depressed, but at the end of the day that’s not helpful. We are the ones who have to deal with it. If we release our judgement and blame and take responsibility, then we can make progress.

Please

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When we can see depression as just another illness, we can seek treatment, like we would for any other condition. Now we can go to our GP or mental health team and ask for help. This may be medication, counselling, psychotherapy, self-help group, reading self-help books, or a combination – in addition to other treatment for specific aspects (e.g. dependency issues or family therapy). The mere fact of having taken some positive action towards recovery will lift some of the weight of depression, and some of the help offered will help with the next step. 

Goodbye

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The issues that caused the depression in the first place need to be addressed and with the help provided in Please, this is now the time to deal with them. This is likely to take some time. I also believe it is important to grieve at this stage – for lost dreams, spoiled childhood, all the disappointments and missed opportunities of one’s life. We may also need to make some decisions regarding our lives – we may need to re-examine our priorities, or part company with those who abuse or manipulate us. This is part of the process of Completion, which we must undergo before we can move on.

Thank You

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As we deal with our childhood and other issues, we begin to feel better about ourselves, our self-esteem rises and we learn to affirm ourselves. Our sense of self changes and we begin to value ourselves. We feel we do, after all, have something of value to share with others. Our life has meaning.

Hello

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Armed with our new sense of self we are ready to venture out into the world. We are no longer paralysed by fear. We reconnect to and learn to trust our emotions. Our trust in ourselves, others and God grows as we take small risks, pushing ourselves a little bit further each time.

No

Now we have found a sense of who we really are and we no longer put up with abuse or manipulation. Our boundaries are stronger and we can say “No” to our abusers – and others who ask too much of us. We take back our power, control over our own lives. We make our choices freely, respecting who we are, and we live our truth. But we have also learnt along the way where we are vulnerable, what work still needs to be done, what our stumbling blocks are. My prime stressors are tiredness, stress and financial instability, so I protect these. I consider my energy and stress levels before agreeing to do extra hours at work, and I monitor my finances carefully to avoid the situations that trigger depression. And I use art to push myself to foster acceptance, play, courage to fail, letting go of judgement – it terrifies me, but it works.
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The Meaning of Life

22/7/2019

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The Meaning of Life in 7 Words

Experiencing the Authentic Self

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NO
The meaning of life is to experience yourself. It is that simple. That doesn’t make it easy however, because there are forces that pull us and push us away from the true centre of who we are, and these pressures are powerful, non-stop and immediate from the moment we take our first breath – and actually before even that! It is a huge task and a great achievement to find a place within ourselves that is authentic, reliable and incorruptible. When we have this, then we have a strong foundation upon which to build a meaningful life.

Shaping and Being Shaped

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HELLO 
Our life circumstances both mirror and contribute to the development of character. We express ourselves into the world, and this shapes the world, yet equally we are impressed upon by the world, and this shapes us. These interactions are perpetual and on-going as we let curiosity lead our attention, and our attention lead our involvements. Whatever gets our attention will surely have influence upon our character as it is shaped – although never outside of the range of possibility that is the horizon of our potential. Certainly potential is unlimited, yet it expands and moves in an orderly fashion, as does the horizon at sea.     

Love is the Feeling of Deep Belonging

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THANKS
​
We find that some of our interactions have a deeper quality than others. Firstly, the power of empathy generates in us such a feeling of belonging that we are awakened into a sense of something bigger. Intimate loving relationship tends towards family feelings, which tend toward clan-, tribe-, nation-, race- and even species-rapport. Thus we are able to reconnect with the depths of feeling that are associated with the heart.

Establishing Firm Principles

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GOODBYE
Yet we are not defined uniquely by such a process, in fact we have to give away aspects of our uniqueness in order to belong. So, opposed to empathy, a second force is triggered inside us when the unique self feels its individuality at risk. This force refutes. The fiery, challenging, heroic aspect of our unique individuality decides to stand on principle. I AM ME! The seduction of comfort and the security of belonging are overpowered by the freedom-urge of spirit – and then individually we desire to travel onwards alone.

Vision and Sacredness

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PLEASE 
Away from the twin forces of seductive familiarity, and the glamour of the rebel, a more powerful sense of true self can emerge. This is felt in sacredness; this is the purpose of sacredness – to become aware of the bigger picture. We reach up to find the most glorious vision we can imagine where who we are, and who we are with, co-create a splendid reality that is rich in colour, opportunity and joy – free from the need either to conform to family values or to reject them.

Learning From Another's Persepctive

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SORRY
During this visionary process, the push of our personality is met by the push back of another’s. This is required if we are to learn to see our circumstances and our human potential from other perspectives. Through this refining stage, we come to know something of the deepest mystery that exists in all the worlds. It cannot really be explained in words. It has such a truth that can only be experienced when intuitively we trust the physical body to recognise and take on the actual state of being that reflects what the enlightened mind has merely understood.     

Surrendering to the Flow of Life

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​YES
Resistance, ambition, self-proclamation, and morality are all then perceived as follies. Of course they have real worth as devices that show of our imperfection of understanding, and give us a palette for our artistry as we create our lives – yet the real mystery is not found there, it is found when we sink into it. We let all that comes and goes fascinate us for a moment then, perhaps with a smile as enigmatic as the Mona Lisa’s, we can let it all pass us by.
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My Spiritual Journey

22/7/2019

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My Spiritual Journey in 7 Words

The Liars

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Even as a child I was aware that all was not well in this world; I lived with a constant but unspecific feeling of unease. People told lies. My parents did not practise what they preached, my schoolteachers avoided or fudged when my questions were awkward, and on TV the smiles of news presenters and advertisers were white-teeth caricatures that made me cringe.

The Bullies

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And then there were the bullies. Not just the intimidation at school, which was far more frightening when it took the form of a teacher’s cold, institutional violence of sarcasm and angry glances, but also the threats at Sunday School from the Christians who insisted that God was a vindictive and vengeful spy who critically examined every one of my thoughts in every moment of my sinful life.

Living in Truth

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I saw though their lies – and I said so. This refusal to go along with the all-pervading corruption was my first true act of spiritual awakening. I rejected all that I felt was false and refused to compromise my principles. Even though I had no idea what other principles I actually had, I knew that first and foremost I need to live constantly in truth.

The System Needs Liars and Bullies

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I did not fit in anywhere. As I attempted to make my way in the world it became obvious that to tell lies competently and frequently was a requirement of the System. Otherwise most of us were consigned to become wave-slaves in our factories and offices, having no expectation beyond a life of reluctant servitude and no advancement.

A Journey of Discovery

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Intuitively, it seemed that there must be a better way and that one who sought them would find answers. So, my life became a journey of discovery. I gave up habits and comforts to travel, often to scary places, I read philosophy and studied the great books, I filled my world with other seekers, attending uncounted workshops, seminars and retreats. Perhaps I was a slow learner because it took me a very long time!

The Opening Heart

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Unconsciously I had assumed that it was the mind that would open and that that would bring true understanding. This indeed was a necessary process, but not sufficient. What actually brought me into deeper into my authentic self was the opening of the heart. Unknowingly I’d become cynical and had no sense of softness or warmth as a heart-centred feeling. I could behave as though I loved but in reality, this behaviour was a decision or habit and not a real feeling. What opened my awareness of the joy and importance of such vulnerability was compassion for another, and also the beauty in music and Nature.

Confrontation and Conflict as Spiritual Principles

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This did not make me weak; it made me feel strong. I found myself able and ready to confront bullies and liars. Few, if any, would listen to my complaints and so I was obliged to remove myself totally from my old life, its people and comforts. My solitude deepened my strength and brought me ever closer to the realisation of who I am and what is my purpose.

Sacred Repect

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As soon as I became clear about my life purpose there was energy and motivation. It was also noticeable that my vision had its own magnetism and somehow magically drew together those of us whose purposes aligned. Collaboration and the resultant synergy created a constant atmosphere of meaning, directness and achievement and brought me into a much higher level of respect for others.

Of all the many worthy spiritual teachings encountered, the one that speaks to me most profoundly is ‘sacred respect’. We have to respect ourselves and others, in fact all aspects of life, as important parts of something wonderful and blessed. This necessarily means that we treat the words we utter as sacred too, so we speak truth and do not manipulate.

The 7 Words

At some stage in the process I came up with a simple model to explain how it all worked for me.
No: Reject the false
Hello: Expand your horizons
Thanks: Appreciate love and beauty
Goodbye: If it’s not right – then change it or move on
Please: Share your vision with others
Sorry: Respect everything and everyone
Yes: Surrender to the flow of life

Faith and Optimism

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I don’t think the journey ever ends, and I’m pretty sure that these 7 life wisdoms are things we never completely master. The last bit – to let go and trust that all will be well – is the operation of faith. The final secret that I have learned is that faith is a choice not a gift and I have come to believe that optimism is a sacred duty.
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