Depression: The Journey to Recovery

Depression: The Journey to Recovery by Carinne Allinson

Yes

When we give ourselves permission and accept our depression, it is like we sign a peace treaty with it. We can let go for a while and just go with the flow. Yes, we will need to deal with it – but not yet. For now we just surrender. This process may take a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, but for however long it takes, we need to just sleep, cry, stay in bed, stare at the wall – whatever we need to do. We will know when the time comes to move on. 

Sorry

Having given ourselves permission and accepted our depression, we no longer need to judge ourselves. Depression is an illness, like any other – we don’t judge people for having asthma or diabetes, so why should depression be any different? Our attitude to blame changes, too. It may still be someone else’s fault we’re depressed, but at the end of the day that’s not helpful. We are the ones who have to deal with it. If we release our judgement and blame and take responsibility, then we can make progress.

Please

When we can see depression as just another illness, we can seek treatment, like we would for any other condition. Now we can go to our GP or mental health team and ask for help. This may be medication, counselling, psychotherapy, self-help group, reading self-help books, or a combination – in addition to other treatment for specific aspects (e.g. dependency issues or family therapy). The mere fact of having taken some positive action towards recovery will lift some of the weight of depression, and some of the help offered will help with the next step. 

Goodbye

The issues that caused the depression in the first place need to be addressed and with the help provided in Please, this is now the time to deal with them. This is likely to take some time. I also believe it is important to grieve at this stage – for lost dreams, spoiled childhood, all the disappointments and missed opportunities of one’s life. We may also need to make some decisions regarding our lives – we may need to re-examine our priorities, or part company with those who abuse or manipulate us. This is part of the process of Completion, which we must undergo before we can move on.

Thank You

As we deal with our childhood and other issues, we begin to feel better about ourselves, our self-esteem rises and we learn to affirm ourselves. Our sense of self changes and we begin to value ourselves. We feel we do, after all, have something of value to share with others. Our life has meaning.

Hello

Armed with our new sense of self we are ready to venture out into the world. We are no longer paralysed by fear. We reconnect to and learn to trust our emotions. Our trust in ourselves, others and God grows as we take small risks, pushing ourselves a little bit further each time.

No

Now we have found a sense of who we really are and we no longer put up with abuse or manipulation. Our boundaries are stronger and we can say “No” to our abusers – and others who ask too much of us. We take back our power, control over our own lives. We make our choices freely, respecting who we are, and we live our truth. But we have also learnt along the way where we are vulnerable, what work still needs to be done, what our stumbling blocks are. My prime stressors are tiredness, stress and financial instability, so I protect these. I consider my energy and stress levels before agreeing to do extra hours at work, and I monitor my finances carefully to avoid the situations that trigger depression. And I use art to push myself to foster acceptance, play, courage to fail, letting go of judgement – it terrifies me, but it works.