Venus is the maiden archetype; feminine and responsive with a strength of vibrancy that underlines its power of attraction. Its essential meaning is expressed as the desire to merge and know union with another. Both women and men experience Cupid and cupidity, which we each interpret mainly according to the sign in which Venus is placed. In the three water signs it is what emotions we feel for another; fire is more to do with what activities we enjoy doing with someone; airy Venuses like to feel close rapport in communication while earthy ones are often surprisingly realistic and practical about whom to love because they particularly enjoy feeling material security.
Through Venus we intuitively know how to attract the attention we crave. Yet it’s not only the physicality of beauty that charms and seduces with intimate smiles, stylish clothes and sexy gestures, it’s also in the atmosphere of willingness, of empathy and rapport, the light-hearted humour, coy giggling or unspoken nodding agreement with the other’s quirky opinions. These are Cupid’s tricks of the trade and can be observed in Jane Austen’s drawing room easily as well as a lap-dancer’s bar. Eroticism and temptation can be coquettish as much as it can be vulgar. And it works both ways – whatever we do to attract is usually more or less what we find attractive. Slick dressers admire followers of fashion and meet at the disco, gym-goers jog together and introverts meet soul-mates at Mozart concerts.
Power of Romantic Glamour
Such phrases – soul-mates, falling in love, forever and ever – were created to express romance and dress up the erotic urges of reproduction in civilised garb. Romance engulfs most people at some point between puberty and parenthood, and does an excellent job keeping our species going. Yet it robs us all of common sense, discrimination and even sanity as the endorphins crash through our sensory system like a tsunami. Let’s not be seduced by the softness and good humour of Venus – she is a powerful mistress with a ruthless streak, can be completely manipulative, and has mastered the conjuring glamour that allows her prey to be deceived – repeatedly becoming convinced that life really can be the way fairy stories proclaim.
Yet the maiden is not always immature and self-centred. In time, as glitter fades with another disappointing romantic interaction, falling in love can transform into being loving. Care for another is not only the lunar parenting type of love; through Venus it expresses as mutuality of concern between adults who resonate harmoniously. Then we expect to feel understanding, closeness, joy, acceptance, both excitement and easiness. We are recognised and enjoyed as a person with a particular personality rather than just set of genitalia or a wallet. This is mature, adult love. It is most deeply felt in the heart and can be trusted to endure through life’s turbulence.
Perceiving beauty is none other than our highest perception of harmony. When we make a commitment to find this within ourselves, we notice that life takes on more meaning and we find everything becomes a little more special, even sacred. This includes our interactions in relationship. When we seek harmony, we must find it within ourselves first, then in our relations with others. This is the secret of finding a peaceful way of being. Harmony, peace, beauty, love and sacredness are all but synonyms; most certainly they are aspects of one unifying principle, and for an astrologer that is probably better expressed as closer to the essence of Venus than anything else.
To endure over time relationship requires each partner to take the other into account as a general way of life, anticipating their response to any behaviour or viewpoint. If what we want to say or do would offend or hurt the feelings of our partner, then we need to soften our position, moderate our expression and learn to seek the middle ground. Without Venus this would feel like an unwelcome capitulation, the denial of self, and simply unacceptable. Yet Venus finds delight in her ability to change in order to accommodate another’s point of perspective. It’s an aspect of why we enjoy travelling to new countries, meet new people, or try new food. It’s fun to experience life differently. In fact without this added dimension, life becomes a little dull. For there to be joy, there needs to be relationship because we can only know who we are when another, especially a significant other, reflects back to us that they approve of our unique way of being.